Animals, Author, Blog, Creative, Ghostwriting, Happiness, Horse Riding, Life, Mental Health Awareness, Mindfulness, Nature, Photography, Positivity

Happy 2023!

Hi there – you amazing human being,

I know it’s a little late, but I hope you’ve had a wonderful welcome to 2023 🙂

Our festive season was so lovely – although, I’m not sure all of our furry babies were too impressed with their outfits… Haha!

Although I’m just getting over a horrible bought of the flu, which doesn’t help matters, I reckon January felt approximately 476 days long! While I haven’t had much opportunity to enjoy riding the horses, and Cai’s walks have mostly been on the pavements instead of fields as it’s so muddy, I’m looking forward to lots of adventures – with both the horses and Cai – as soon as the weather has improved and nights are lighter 🙂

In the interest of transparency, I feel it’s important to shine a light on darkness as well as the brighter times. I’ve been struggling with high levels of anxiety for a few months – which has made the winter weather seem all the darker, at times.

I’m beyond grateful for my fabulous family and friends (including my gorgeous animal family!), because they support me through everything; and I take at least a moment to be thankful for all the beauty I’m fortunate to have in my life, every day. However, sometimes, getting caught up in the hustle and bustle of life can become overwhelming – especially when emetophobia is involved.

Having been held hostage by emetophobia, and its associated anxieties, for over quarter of a century, I felt enough was enough and finally dusted off ‘The Thrive Programme’ textbook I’ve had in the bookcase for eighteen months and made a start on the course. So far it’s been slow progress, but that’s because I haven’t dedicated as much time to it as I should be – though after having a setback while I had the flu, during which I had a terrible panic attack, I’m determined to push through and get on with the course.

Mental health should definitely be as highly regarded as physical health, and I’m done putting myself last all the time. I’ve had it pointed out to me by loved ones that I need to start considering myself and taking care of myself first – so, I am more determined than ever to get ‘The Thrive Programme’ done and dusted; it’s about time I took away the control emetophobia has over my quality of life 🙂

I watched the impressive buzzard in the below photograph effortlessly lift themselves up and out of the fog encompassing them… Nature is on our side, if we take the time to learn how to harness our own power through being calm. Which is why, alongside vanquishing my demons, I’m going to do more of what I love (e.g. spend more time with my husband/family/friends, take Cai on more adventures, ride my horses more often, revel in my own literary creations, read more fantastic books, take up photography again, etc.) – since that’s the reason I work so damn hard constantly. So, please take this as your sign to do the same – life is too short not to relish the wonderfulness in your life; striving to reach a goal isn’t worthwhile if it costs you your health.

And, on an even more positive note, I finally have a plan for my own writing. This year, I’m focused on moving forwards with my literary endeavours; most namely, completing my YA series and its accompanying dyslexia-friendly versions. I also have sooo many other story ideas and endless scribbled notes that could prove to be the kindling that sparks my next novel or series of short stories. So, please ‘watch this space’!

In the meantime, I’ve edited typos in “Larry” and “Animals’ Guide to the Human Race” for the final time (I mean it! Haha) and they’re available in eBook format, as well as paperback and hardcover 🙂



When I get the opportunity, I’m also hoping to update The Emet. Review website and Instagram page – I’ve just been a little too busy to do so for a while, for which I apologise! Though in case you’d like to pay The Emet. Review a visit, here’s the website address:

Anyways, I’m going to stop typing now and spend some quality time with Gareth and Cai 🙂

Wishing you a wonderful weekend!

Best wishes,

Dannika <3

Adventure, Author, Creative, Mental Health Awareness, Mindfulness, Photography, Positivity, Self-Love, Share Your Story, Uncategorized, Writing



I hope you’re having a lovely week 🙂

After seeing so many wonderful posts about body positivity lately, I’ve decided to add to the positive vibes currently sweeping through the ether, by writing my views on portrait photography.

Coronavirus lockdown restrictions have caused many of us to spend considerably more time than usual scrolling our way through the confidence-destroying minefield of social media. I truly believe that photographs of ourselves ought to be pondered in the same light we perceive our own reflection in a pool of water. Much as a reflection distorts your features, a photograph captures one very specific millisecond of time at an often unrealistic angle (in that most fellow humans are unlikely to look at you the way a camera does); a fleeting glimpse into an entire life; an echo, impossible to replicate (without highly advanced technology). Meaning that all those ‘perfect’ portrait images we see plastered throughout virtually every form of visual media are just one split second, modified snapshot amidst a lifetime.

It has been said that an image conveys a thousand words, but in the case of social media, an image can conceal a thousand truths. 

Smartphones make it easier than it has ever been to adjust photographs to an advanced degree, with photo-editing software built in as standard – not to mention the plethora of ‘filters’ available to utilise on every social media platform, allowing people the opportunity to avoid ever having to share an ‘unflattering’ photograph again. 

I admit that I may unintentionally perpetuate that style of editorial imagery to a lesser degree; I try not to share photographs I feel are unflattering of me because I don’t want my social media accounts to be less appealing, or for readers/potential readers to think less of me/my writing because I’m not what society might deem ‘worthy’ unless I am aesthetically pleasing to the majority of my (albeit limited) audience – I do understand that that is part of the problem. I suppose in order to remedy it, I have to determine whether I’m doing that to please myself, or to attempt to be noticed as a worthwhile writer amidst a sea of professionally managed social media profiles – something I promise to work on as best I can, to set a better example for younger generations. 

As an example of how a unique individual can be perceived in a variety of ways, I took these photographs within the space of 1 minute – note how differently I look in every photograph, thanks to changes in lighting, angles, and even the addition of filters…

Please remember when looking at photos of yourself: *Different Photographs; Same Worth* Although the camera has captured me differently in all these images, I’m still me 🙂

Whilst it can be frustrating that the majority of social media accounts – both personal and professional – support fakery that funds the beauty industry, by making us all feel we have to live up to unrealistic standards in order to be considered ‘beautiful’ by society, it’s worth remembering that they are people too; and the more airbrushed, photoshopped, filtered their images are, the more insecure they’re likely to feel about how they look in reality. Their intention may not necessarily be to make you feel negatively about yourself, but to try feel better about themselves. And the truth is, there’s someone out there right now who admires a quality you have that they do not, and it’s almost certainly the person you least expect it to be.

In light of this, I’d like to add my voice to the increasing plethora of positive posts, by sharing some of my own story and commentary on the journey to self-confidence (that I am currently embarking on too)…

1.) I’ve been working on overcoming the countless insecurities I have about my appearance. For instance, I have extremely sensitive skin, e.g. I end up with a terrible rash when I shave my legs; I suffer with spots from time to time (caused by over-washing due to OCD linked to emetophobia); my hair gets oily quickly (so I wash it all the time which, ironically, makes it worse); make-up never seems to look flawless on me – although it seems to look nice on everyone else – and I get sunburned so easily that tanning naturally (to hide imperfections) is not an option (though the thought of using fake tan terrifies me – I’m certain I’d do something wrong and would end up looking/feeling ridiculous!). I’ve always been self-conscious about my nose, after it was broken by a horse when I was 10, as it doesn’t resemble the idyllic ‘button nose’ that various beauty/media industries suggest is most attractive. And I’ve recently found out that I have a dislocated jaw – that may have been caused by the misalignment of braces I wore as a teenager – to accompany the damage braces did to the enamel of my teeth (the glue they used left a few small yellowish stains on my teeth that the dentist can’t remove without damaging the enamel further), meaning I’m unlikely to ever have a lens-worthy set of perfectly straight, pearly-white teeth. That, together with the insecurities I have about having put on weight due to major life changes over the last few years (beginning with a serious hand injury 6 years ago that ended my equestrian career), led to my feeling awful about myself 99% of the time – which, as a consequence, meant I suffered more anxiety about my appearance than usual (I already have emetophobia and its associated anxieties), and it all became a miserable cycle of self-deprecation that had to stop before it spiralled into depression (again). Thankfully, my incredible boyfriend, wonderful family, and fantastic friends made me realise that all that stuff is inconsequential in the grand scheme of life – absolutely none of those aspects I’m insecure about take away from who I am, how hard I work at everything, or the reasons I try my best to help people/animals however I can. My insecurities are just that, my insecurities; my loved ones don’t love me in spite of all those things, I’m loved because I am me no-matter what. A realisation I hope you’re able to revel about yourself in too 🙂

2.) Nobody cares whether you have strawberry skin after you shave, whether you have acne, or that you don’t have a flawless tan, nor does it affect their life that you’re worried about wearing tight clothes because your body doesn’t resemble the inhuman form of a mannequin, or that you have stretch marks/cellulite/scars on show if you wear certain clothes – you’re but a momentary consideration at most as they go about their daily business at the shops, or you walk past them on the street, or they are enjoying their day at the beach/park/restaurant (especially after a year and a half of lockdown!). And if you are still worried, it’s worth remembering that those who judge you negatively for such insignificant things (in the grand scheme of life) likely only do so because it deflects from issues they have with themselves. Also, it doesn’t actually matter what they think of you.

3.) I repeat as its own comment (and I suggest you repeat this to yourself): it *does not matter* what people think of your appearance (unless, of course, you’re at a job interview). What if someone does have a fleeting negative thought about your appearance; did it cause you physical harm? Do you care about the stranger enough to act on their fleeting, negative response (for instance, enduring some sort of barbaric cosmetic procedure to appease strangers)? And finally, what right does some random stranger have to make you feel negatively about yourself when they don’t know anything about you? Please don’t give power to the unfair, unhealthy culture and unrealistic expectations to look a certain way to be accepted – instead, accept yourself for the unique brand of wonderfulness only you can offer the world.

4.) Fact: our bodies change constantly. Therefore, it is as unhealthy as it is unrealistic to believe that you cannot be beautiful or handsome or worthy of adoration unless you fit into those jeans you used to wear a decade ago, or that top you used to love that you wish you still looked great in, or, unless you fit a specific image bombarded by all forms of visual media as being the ‘ultimate specimen of human perfection’ (an image which, if you study the ‘ideal body shape/size/configuration’ through the ages you’ll discover is constantly shifting and evolving). Eat your favourite food guilt-free, wear clothes that are comfortable, and find a way to exercise that you actually enjoy instead of counting calories, avoiding clothes you’re afraid people might ‘judge’ you for wearing, and forcing yourself to participate in exercise that doesn’t bring you joy in pursuit of unattainable ‘perfection’. The human body is an incredible vessel of evolution; love yours, nurture it, and appreciate every fibre of your being for the masterpiece it is!

5.) The universe needs you just the way you are. Please stop comparing yourself to others when there’s not a person on this planet capable of comparing to you because, honestly, they’re not you – the knowledge of which ought to provide you with an untold sense of power and self-belief 🙂

5.) As challenging as it is, in order to improve my own self-confidence, I practice what I preach and continuously push myself to become the beautifully confident person I deserve to be…

For example, I am taking action to improve my health and fitness, to help me feel better for myself – as opposed to that motivation being to look beautiful just to please the world (confidence is attractive in itself, so I’m told!). I am also trying really hard to ease my anxiety over my skin issues, and though it may sound minor to many, I felt a strange sense of accomplishment the other day when I didn’t shave that morning (I usually shave my legs every time I intend to wear shorts or a dress – which takes ages because I obsessively remove every hair I consider unsightly) yet still wore shorts all day and even went shopping! There were a few stray hairs I couldn’t reach on my right leg (thanks to my hand injury) that I hadn’t noticed until I returned from shopping, which was the moment I realised I survived without any negative effects of having not shaved that morning – I didn’t notice one person give so much as a glance at me, let alone the dramatic reactions of displeasure I believed might accompany my decision not to overthink going out with strawberry legs. It was more comfortable to wear shorts than to have worn jeans, yet I almost made myself uncomfortable by wearing jeans because of the reaction I thought I’d receive for having a teeny tiny amount of stubble on my legs. As it happens, it didn’t feel like anyone cared about the fact I had a few stray hairs on my right leg – the fact people just carried on with their own business felt great; who’d have thought being invisible could feel satisfying! But then it struck me, the reason we strive to fit in is for that reason; because no reaction is better than a negative one, no-matter how minor – and in order for all that hard work that goes in to looking nice to be worthwhile, a positive reaction provides a flash of acceptance that makes us feel incredible about ourselves, even for a millisecond.

However, it really shouldn’t be up to other people to determine how incredible we feel about ourselves. Of course, we want to look attractive to encourage self-confidence, to help ourselves appreciate what we see in the mirror (or on a smartphone camera app), and to please our partners – though my amazing boyfriend has assured me that when you’re in love with the right person, it doesn’t matter if you have spots, or you put on a little weight, or your hair needs a wash, since that love is deeper than one’s superficial appearance (I believe the reason the right person loves you is because their soul connects with yours on a cosmic level – your partner loves you in your entirety because of who you are; which makes you the most attractive person in the universe to them, irrespective of your self-perceived ‘physical imperfections’). If you don’t have a partner to remind you of your awesomeness, consider how much your family and friends love you – and I guarantee that love has absolutely nothing to do with what you look like; what feeling could be more incredibly confidence-inspiring than that? 🙂

Life is short. Please don’t waste a moment feeling insignificant because of your insecurities – you are so much more than your portrayal in a photograph <3

Anyways, hope you’re having a happy Wednesday!

Best wishes,


Author, Nature, Writing

About Stress

Heyy Friends, I hope all is well with you 🙂

So, it has been an inordinate amount of time since my last blog post – my apologies to those of you who enjoy them! However, as the title of this post suggests, things have been stressful. You might want to get yourself a lovely cup of tea and some super chocolaty biscuits, because this is going to be one lengthy rant (sorry!)…

Cannot remember whether I mentioned previously the whole car debacle – in case I haven’t, here it is: I purchased a second-hand car six weeks ago. It was mechanically sound, drove nicely, and was reasonably priced. Then, en route home, the damn thing started playing up. I’m definitely not the most confident driver, and I prefer to drive automatic cars because they’re more comfortable with my hand injury, so when the stupid thing kept slipping out of ‘Auto’ mode and getting stuck in first gear, that wasn’t helpful. It broke down at least three times in two days. The lady I bought it from kindly offered to take it back and refund the money, but I’m aware the lady is a single mother with three young children who needed a car – so I didn’t feel it was the right thing to do to burden her with it; I told her I’d keep it and get it sorted out, so she didn’t have to worry about it. To be fair to the lady, she was extremely helpful in trying to contact the previous owner in attempt to get him to pay the repair costs – he didn’t, but she made sure our complaint about the car was heard, which I really appreciated. After having two mechanics look at the car, as a last-ditch attempt to get the damn thing sorted, I searched for a local diagnostics garage; luckily, the one I found has been fantastic. Although they’ve had the car a total of four weeks (out of the six weeks I’ve owned the thing), despite their generosity and doing a lot of work on it for free, after I spent hundreds of pounds getting it fixed, we had a discussion today in which they felt it isn’t reliable enough for me – it just wouldn’t put up with the type of use I’d be expecting of it. The car drives superbly, it’s just more suited to someone wanting to travel around town as opposed to long distances through country lanes and over pot-holed farm driveways. Thankfully, the garage have kindly offered to try selling it on for me, though I am going to have to accept a huge loss on what was supposed to be a positive, lifestyle-changing investment. I am now on the lookout for a pink automatic, because I have decided I’m not compromising on the colour of car I’d love; I’ll let you know when I find my perfect car (which I am determined to do, even if it takes a while!). In the meantime, please enjoy this photograph of the number plate omen that I completely missed 🙂

Check out the number plate omen I initially missed!

Moving on from stressful cars, there was a sudden explosion of ragwort in the horses’ field last week. Probably the hot, wet weather – but ragwort is severely toxic to horses so has to be removed from grazing pasture. Therefore, spent hours pulling ragwort with my family and some friends with horses at the yard; which was stressful when the horses kept trying to nibble at the plants, thinking it was some sort of treat we were shoving into bags! Eventually, after much sweat, blood (from brambles, mostly), and tears (from stinging nettles and having flying insects attack us), we got the job done 🙂

I’ve had a heck of a lot of work lately – which is beyond wonderful! However, I continue to fail at time management. This is a constant strain on my physicality (i.e. headaches from staring at screens non-stop) as well as my mentality (i.e. not taking breaks, even on weekends, which leads to random debilitating anxiety attacks). I love my job, I truly do. I am infinitely thankful to be able to do something I love for a living, especially after the up-and-down experiences of working for companies. I’ve also just received the first batch of study materials in preparation for my uni course re-commencing in October – I adore learning, though my gosh are these some enormous textbooks!

I am failing miserably at fulfilling my own sense of self, in that I am continuously putting myself down and piling on my to-do list – instead of heeding my own advice by taking even a moment to be proud of my achievements and actually reap the rewards I’ve earned. My constant state of stress is stressing out my loved ones too, which is what bothers me most of all. This is where that good old adage “do as I say, not as I do” comes into force! I’m going to re-visit the fantastic advice given by family, friends, and kind social media strangers a while ago when I posted about this sort of thing on my personal social media pages – I am determined to fight my anxious tendencies and will learn to trust in my own abilities, as a writer and as a human being. And I promise to let you know exactly how I do that the second of its discovery 🙂

My attempt at re-capturing a positive sense of self, when I didn’t put any products whatsoever on my face the other day – and realised how much the sun had caught my face whilst ragwort pulling!

Whilst you’re awaiting a positive, life-affirming blog post from me, I hope you’ll be enchanted by these photographs I’ve taken over the last few weeks (the numbered photo collage depicts a change in light over a few seconds, taken during a lightning strike a few days ago). I do love nature, and photography 🙂

If you’ve made it to here, please reward yourself with your favourite sweet treat – thank you! I hope, at the very least, my blog post has given you a human insight into the world of a ghostwriter… 🙂

Take care of yourself <3

Best wishes,


Author, Mental Health Awareness, Uncategorized, Writing

About Finding Self-Confidence

Hi Everyone, hope all is well 🙂

I’ve just seen a post on Facebook by one of my friends and I suddenly felt compelled to write this blog post. I honestly have no idea where I’m going with this, but I have had enough of feeling inadequate and I’m fed up of seeing those around me feel less than good enough too.

The post read: When I say “please don’t take a picture of me” it’s not because I’m being bitchy and stubborn, it’s because if I see that picture I will seriously feel so bad about myself and think I am the ugliest thing on earth and sink a little deeper into self consciousness and hatred.

First of all, now I am totally guilty of this, we *must* learn to stop comparing ourselves to others.

Each and every one of us are unique. We are the only one of ourselves in existence. At this very moment in time, we are the only person living our life. You are the only one reading this post, my words, from your perspective. When we consider our existence from such a profound viewpoint, we realise just how precious we are.

How devastating that we spend so much of our time – that should be filled with happiness, contentment and joy – allowing our own image to be destroyed upon the judgements others make of other people. Since if we think about it, we are our own worst enemy as far as self image is concerned – when was the last time anyone said you didn’t look nice?

Even though my family are brutally honest about my appearance (which is wonderful), I cannot remember the last time any of them said I look awful, or fat, or a mess (in fact, they constantly reassure me I do not) – nor have any of my friends ever said anything derogatory about my appearance, unless perhaps those times I slipped in sheep turd whilst helping out with shearing, or when I’ve fallen off my horse and landed in a muddy puddle; after which we all had a great laugh! I can, however, remember that when I looked in the mirror five minutes ago that I acknowledged how bloated I am, how I really need to lose at least a stone in weight because I dislike the fat blobbed over the back of my bra and want to be lighter for my horses to carry, as well as frustratingly sighing at the vision of spots appearing along my jawline. What I absolutely failed to notice was how amazing my body is for reaching almost 29 years so far, being able to write/ride/drive/do everything I do, coping daily with crippling anxiety caused by emetophobia, still managing to get on with everything despite a severe hand injury (that may never heal), still being able to breathe despite having a broken nose, and being recipient of some fortunate genetic attributes as gifted by generations of my ancestors. I forget to be thankful that when I do have a set routine allowing for time to ride my horses and take my dog on rambling adventures, I do get fit, tone up and lose weight relatively swiftly. I am grateful to be in love and whilst I do feel encompassed by every moment I’m able to spend with him, I have to remind myself that he wouldn’t be with me if I wasn’t remotely attractive. I have always had a dream to write for a living, this year I finally found the courage to take a leap of faith and I’m delighted to be able to write for a living, study, and pursue all of my dreams. I am beyond lucky to be loved, and be able to love, so many inspiring, wondrous people.

So, next time you look in the mirror, please cast aside any negative, self-deprecating thoughts. Look through them and see yourself. Appreciate absolutely every positive attribute you have, because I guarantee there will be too many for you to note in one staring-at-yourself-in-the-mirror session!

Secondly, after some lovely long chats with friends, I realised that it is likely one of the reasons I am feeling so negative about my body image is because I am subconsciously being bombarded with images of women with perfectly toned bodies and flawless skin, unlikely to have ever had an unflattering photograph taken of them in their entire lives, their routines in order and achievements projected from social media accounts saturated with followers telling them every day how great they are. It’s like some unspoken competition has been developed, whereby women have to be seen to support one another, whilst behind the scenes setting up images to share that show their lives only from an idyllic angle, as if in some subconscious form of one-upmanship with all other women. I’ve made a conscious effort to try follow more accounts that promote positive relationships with individuality in its natural form.

The truth is, the people behind those accounts that make us feel crappy about ourselves are unlikely to have it all together and probably have brilliant photography or photoshop skills. Because we are all human, there is absolutely no way on Earth anybody has their lives entirely together 100% of the time. We all have low moments. Unfortunately, at some point in our lives we all suffer pain, and loss, and grief, and have to face adversity. But, when we go through something terrible, we are never alone. And all of us possess the power to overcome, the strength to survive, and the ability to help others using our experiences.

Finally, perfection in its purest, true form *is* attainable, because it is subjective. What I perceive as perfect someone else will not. Therefore, those aspects of our self we see as imperfect are exactly what make us perfect in another’s eyes.

I’m not there yet. I wholeheartedly admit that I have a llooonnngg way to go to feel truly self-confident. And whilst I’ll still refrain from posting super unflattering images in which I believe I look disgusting (mainly to save your sight but also to avoid embarrassing myself), I am going to continue to encourage self-confidence in others.

Being a good person is awesome, but remember, in order to be selfless self-care is vital.

Having a goal to become physically healthier is amazing, but please do so to fulfil your own happiness – not to fulfil a vision of yourself you believe others would rather see.

Lifestyle choices involving exercise and diet should bring you joy, not feel like torture. Find activities you enjoy, eat what makes you feel fantastic, and make the most of every moment instead of punishing yourself for not being the size you were when you were a teenager. Our bodies evolve as our lives move along at their natural pace. We should buy clothes to fit us, not change our bodies to make ourselves fit into clothes (after all, sizes are different depending on their manufacture and materials). When photographs are taken of us during good times, we ought to cherish the moment we were captured within, as opposed to regretting having that photograph taken – I’m sure older generations would give anything to have treasured memories captured forever in a timeless form.

Some days you’ll feel positive and productive, you will complete your to-do list then go on to accomplish everything extra you set out to. Other days, you may feel too exhausted to do much more than wear your scruffiest clothes, eat chocolate and simply survive. Do you know what? That is ok. In fact, we all need a rest sometimes – it’s ideal that is enjoyed before our bodies tire.

Despite what you tell yourself at times, you are beautiful.

Embrace who you are and celebrate your self.

We are all doing our best, let’s give ourselves some long overdue credit.

Anyways, that’s it from me for now; my apologies for the essay! Haha.

Sending lots of love and positivity your way right now <3

Best wishes,


Animals, Author, Uncategorized, Writing

On the Importance of Self-Care

Heyy, hope you’re well 🙂

Self-care sounds so indulgent, like it’s some sort of ethereal gift allowed only on special occasions – well, that’s what it seems to me anyway. I take care of my personal hygiene (perhaps a little too much, given my OCD for cleanliness), exercise, eat as healthily as I can and manage my responsibilities, but rarely do I spend time truly enjoying my own company.

Here’s what Google has to say about the definition of self-care:

The practice of taking an active role in protecting one’s own well-being and happiness, in particular during periods of stress. “expressing oneself is an essential form of self-care”

I love my family (including the animals!), I love my boyfriend, and I love my friends, so any time I can I spend soaking up their company and making the most of that ‘togetherness’ we’ve all been without for so long (although sadly, we can’t yet see all our family and friends in person). For me, this is a form of self-care, because I relish being surrounded by loved ones.

When alone, however, I am absolutely rubbish at taking breaks whilst I’m working. I get so absorbed by what I’m doing, that I just let time run away with me; then when I’ve stopped working, all I can do is plan and think about work. On the surface, this is great in terms of productivity – because I am a perfectionist, I try my best to create quality, meaningful content, so being able to get projects completed in a timely fashion is a great feeling. Unfortunately, in the long run I find myself physically and emotionally drained all.the.time.

On Monday I decided this is no longer sustainable. I had to get my backside in gear and organise myself properly if I’m to make the most of my life. I’m missing out on a heck of a lot because I’m so damn focused on earning money to keep my animals, and my everyday life, going. I am fed up of living in a constant state of anxious stress. I admit, having my new car stranded in a garage for the last week after it broke down three times within the first two days of owning it has done nothing to help my anxiety or stress levels… Though I took my first steps toward enjoying myself more by making time to enjoy riding my horses and walking my dog instead of just doing so for exercise, I spent quality time cwtched with my boyfriend as we ate great food, watched films and celebrated being together for a whole year; and I actually read a book for fun as opposed to just reading for work or studying.

Taking time to breathe in your life is not a luxury, it is vital.

Making time to nurture your mental and physical well-being is allowed.

Please, don’t ever feel guilty for wanting to make the most of time for yourself.

Self-care is different for each of us. So, here is a brilliant article by Anna Borges that might help you along the path of contentment & if you’d like further advice, you can find some here from mental health charity Mind.

Take care of your self <3

Best wishes,



An Emetophobic Review

Hello Fellow Emetophobia Suffers 🙂

** EDIT: I have now created a website – in collaboration with fellow emetophobia reviewers – where you’ll discover an extensive listing of films and TV series that have been reviewed for their emetophobia rating! **

Please visit The Emet. Review website for more information, resources, and reviews 🙂

Following is a list I’ve compiled that I am hoping to continue to update as and when I can. It contains listings of various films and TV programs, accompanied by an image explaining whether they are ‘safe’ for emetophobia suffers. I’m improving all the time, though I do still get difficult days when I can only watch ‘safe’ media. Therefore, I’m hoping – during this terrifying time of isolation – to help others feel more comfortable enjoying films and TV programs.

If you can’t see what film or TV program you’re looking for, please do check another emetophobia review page on Instagram, here! 🙂

** Disclaimer ** Individuals have different triggers, this list is based on my own, which may well differ to yours!

(Apologies it’s not yet in alphabetical order – I hope to get around to organizing the listings when I can…)

Film or TV program either completely safe, or, containing mild mention at most.

NO instance, NO sounds, NO triggering actions (e.g. intense coughing/choking, liquid from mouth, spitting etc.).

Film or TV program contains mention, and/or minor sounds, and/or potentially triggering actions (e.g. intense coughing/choking, liquid from mouth, spitting, etc.).

NO instance.

Film or TV program definitely not safe!

Contains dramatic, triggering sounds.

Contains graphic visual instance(s).

TV Programs

(S = Series, E = Episode)


  • Friends – S1, E2
  • Friends – S1, E3
  • Friends – S1, E4
  • Friends – S1, E5
  • Friends – S1, E6
  • Friends – S1, E8
  • Friends – S1, E9
  • Friends – S1, E12
  • Friends – S2, E9
  • Friends – S1, E10
  • Friends – S1, E11
  • Friends – S1, E12
  • Friends – S1, E13
  • Friends – S1, E14
  • Friends – S1, E15
  • Friends – S1, E16
  • Friends – S1, E17
  • Friends – S1, E18
  • Friends – S1, E19
  • Friends – S1, E19
  • Friends – S1, E20
  • Friends – S1, E21
  • Friends – S1, E22
  • Friends – S1, E23
  • Friends – S1, E24
  • Friends – S2, E1
  • Friends – S2, E2
  • Friends – S2, E3
  • Friends – S2, E4
  • Friends – S2, E5
  • Friends – S2, E6
  • Friends – S2, E7
  • Friends – S2, E9
  • Friends – S2, E10
  • Friends – S2, E11
  • Friends – S2, E12
  • Friends – S2, E14
  • Friends – S2, E15
  • Friends – S2, E16
  • Friends – S2, E17
  • Friends – S2, E18
  • Friends – S2, E19
  • Friends – S2, E20
  • Friends – S2, E21
  • Friends – S2, E22
  • Friends – S2, E23
  • Friends – S2, 24
  • Friends – S3, E1
  • Friends – S3, E2
  • Friends – S3, E4
  • Friends – S3, E5
  • Friends – S3, E6
  • Friends – S3, E7
  • Friends – S3, E9
  • Friends – S3, E10
  • Friends – S3, E11
  • Friends – S3, E12
  • Friends – S3, E13
  • Friends – S3, E14
  • Friends – S3, E15
  • Friends – S3, E16
  • Friends – S3, E17
  • Friends – S3, E18
  • Friends – S3, E19
  • Friends – S3, E20
  • Friends – S3, E21
  • Friends – S3, E22
  • Friends – S3, E23
  • Friends – S3, E24
  • Friends – S4, E1
  • Friends – S4, E2
  • Friends – S4, E3
  • Friends – S4, E4
  • Friends – S4, E5
  • Friends – S4, E6
  • Friends – S4, E7
  • Friends – S4, E8
  • Friends – S4, E9
  • Friends – S4, E11
  • Friends – S4, E12
  • Friends – S4, E13
  • Friends – S4, E14
  • Friends – S4, E16
  • Friends – S4, E17
  • Friends – S4, E18
  • Friends – S4, E19
  • Friends – S4, E20
  • Friends – S4, E21
  • Friends – S4, E22
  • Friends – S4, E24
  • Friends – S5, E1
  • Friends – S5, E2
  • Friends – S5, E3
  • Friends – S5, E4
  • Friends – S5, E5
  • Friends – S6, E9

Brooklyn Nine Nine

  • Brooklyn Nine Nine – S1, E2
  • Brooklyn Nine Nine – S1,E5
  • Brooklyn Nine Nine – S1, E6
  • Brooklyn Nine Nine – S1, E11
  • Brooklyn Nine Nine – S1, E13
  • Brooklyn Nine Nine – S1, E14
  • Brooklyn Nine Nine – S1, E15
  • Brooklyn Nine Nine – S1, E16
  • Brooklyn Nine Nine – S1, E17 (mention)
  • Brooklyn Nine Nine – S3, E10
  • Brooklyn Nine Nine – S1, E19
  • Brooklyn Nine Nine – S1, E22
  • Brooklyn Nine Nine – S2, E1 (mention)
  • Brooklyn Nine Nine – S2, E2 (mention)
  • Brooklyn Nine Nine – S2, E4
  • Brooklyn Nine Nine – S2, E5
  • Brooklyn Nine Nine – S2, E6 (mention)
  • Brooklyn Nine Nine – S2, E7
  • Brooklyn Nine Nine – S2, E10
  • Brooklyn Nine Nine – S2, E11
  • Brooklyn Nine Nine – S2, E12 (mention)
  • Brooklyn Nine Nine – S2, E13
  • Brooklyn Nine Nine – S2, E14
  • Brooklyn Nine Nine – S2, E15
  • Brooklyn Nine Nine – S2, E16
  • Brooklyn Nine Nine – S2, E17
  • Brooklyn Nine Nine – S2, E18
  • Brooklyn Nine Nine – S2, E19
  • Brooklyn Nine Nine – S2, E20
  • Brooklyn Nine Nine – S2, E21
  • Brooklyn Nine Nine – S2, E22
  • Brooklyn Nine Nine – S2, E23
  • Brooklyn Nine Nine – S3, E1
  • Brooklyn Nine Nine – S3, E2
  • Brooklyn Nine Nine – S3, E4
  • Brooklyn Nine Nine – S3, E7
  • Brooklyn Nine Nine – S3, E8
  • Brooklyn Nine Nine – S3, E9
  • Brooklyn Nine Nine – S3, E10
  • Brooklyn Nine Nine – S3, E11
  • Brooklyn Nine Nine – S3, E13
  • Brooklyn Nine Nine – S3, E14 (mention)
  • Brooklyn Nine Nine – S3, E15
  • Brooklyn Nine Nine – S3, E16
  • Brooklyn Nine Nine – S3, E17
  • Brooklyn Nine Nine – S3, E18
  • Brooklyn Nine Nine – S3, E19 (mention)
  • Brooklyn Nine Nine – S3, E20
  • Brooklyn Nine Nine – S3, E21
  • Brooklyn Nine Nine – S3, E22
  • Brooklyn Nine Nine – S3, E23 (mention)
  • Brooklyn Nine Nine – S4, E1 (mention)
  • Brooklyn Nine Nine – S4, E2
  • Brooklyn Nine Nine – S4, E4
  • Brooklyn Nine Nine – S4, E5
  • Brooklyn Nine Nine – S4, E6
  • Brooklyn Nine Nine – S4, E7
  • Brooklyn Nine Nine – S4, E8
  • Brooklyn Nine Nine – S4, E9
  • Brooklyn Nine Nine – S4, E11
  • Brooklyn Nine Nine – S4, E12
  • Brooklyn Nine Nine – S4, E13
  • Brooklyn Nine Nine – S4, E16 (mention)
  • Brooklyn Nine Nine – S4, E18
  • Brooklyn Nine Nine – S4, E19
  • Brooklyn Nine Nine – S4, E21
  • Brooklyn Nine Nine – S4, E22
  • Brooklyn Nine Nine – S5, E1
  • Brooklyn Nine Nine – S5, E3
  • Brooklyn Nine Nine – S5, E4
  • Brooklyn Nine Nine – S5, E5
  • Brooklyn Nine Nine – S5, E6
  • Brooklyn Nine Nine – S5, E7
  • Brooklyn Nine Nine – S5, E8
  • Brooklyn Nine Nine – S5, E9
  • Brooklyn Nine Nine – S5, E10
  • Brooklyn Nine Nine – S5, E11
  • Brooklyn Nine Nine – S5, E12
  • Brooklyn Nine Nine – S5, E13
  • Brooklyn Nine Nine – S5, E14
  • Brooklyn Nine Nine – S5, E15
  • Brooklyn Nine Nine – S5, E16
  • Brooklyn Nine Nine – S5, E17
  • Brooklyn Nine Nine – S5, E19 (mention)
  • Brooklyn Nine Nine – S5, E21
  • Brooklyn Nine Nine – S5, E22
  • Brooklyn Nine Nine – S6, E1
  • Brooklyn Nine Nine – S6, E3
  • Brooklyn Nine Nine – S6, E4
  • Brooklyn Nine Nine – S6, E8
  • Brooklyn Nine Nine – S6, E9
  • Brooklyn Nine Nine – S6, E10
  • Brooklyn Nine Nine – S6, E11
  • Brooklyn Nine Nine – S6, E12
  • Brooklyn Nine Nine – S6, E13
  • Brooklyn Nine Nine – S6, E14
  • Brooklyn Nine Nine – S6, E15
  • Brooklyn Nine Nine – S6, E16
  • Brooklyn Nine Nine – S6, E17
  • Brooklyn Nine Nine – S6, E18

Bodyguard, BBC

  • Bodyguard – S1, E1
  • Bodyguard – S1, E5

The Good Place, Netflix

  • The Good Place – S1, E1
  • The Good Place – S1, E3
  • The Good Place – S1, E4
  • The Good Place – S1, E5
  • The Good Place – S1, E6
  • The Good Place – S1, E7
  • The Good Place – S1, E8
  • The Good Place – S1, E9
  • The Good Place – S1, E10
  • The Good Place – S1, E11
  • The Good Place – S1, E12
  • The Good Place – S1, E13
  • The Good Place – S2, E4
  • The Good Place – S2, E7
  • The Good Place – S2, E8
  • The Good Place – S2, E9
  • The Good Place – S2, E10
  • The Good Place – S2, E11
  • The Good Place – S2, E12
  • The Good Place – S3, E1
  • The Good Place – S3, E2
  • The Good Place – S3, E3

Red Dwarf

  • Red Dwarf – S1, E2
  • Red Dwarf – S1, E3
  • Red Dwarf – S1, E4
  • Red Dwarf – S1, E5
  • Red Dwarf – S1, E6
  • Red Dwarf – S2, E3
  • Red Dwarf – S2, E5
  • Red Dwarf – S4, E1

IT Crowd

  • IT Crowd – S1, E1
  • IT Crowd – S1, E2
  • IT Crowd – S1, E4
  • IT Crowd – S3, E2


  • Miranda – S1, E1
  • Miranda – S1, E2

Good Girls, Netflix

  • Good Girls – S1, E3
  • Good Girls – S1, E4
  • Good Girls – S1, E5
  • Good Girls – S1, E6
  • Good Girls – S1, E7
  • Good Girls – S1, E8
  • Good Girls – S1, E9
  • Good Girls – S1, E10
  • Good Girls – S3, E3

Big School, BBC

  • Big School – S1, E1
  • Big School – S1, E3
  • Big School – S1, E4


  • Outnumbered – S1, E1
  • Outnumbered – S1, E2

Gavin & Stacey

  • Gavin & Stacey – S1, E1
  • Gavin & Stacey – S1, E2
  • Gavin & Stacey – S1, E3
  • Gavin & Stacey – S1, E4
  • Gavin & Stacey – S1, E6
  • Gavin & Stacey – S2, E1
  • Gavin & Stacey – S2, E2
  • Gavin & Stacey – S2, E4
  • Gavin & Stacey – S2, E5
  • Gavin & Stacey – S2, E6
  • Gavin & Stacey – S2, E7
  • Gavin & Stacey 2008 Christmas Special
  • Gavin & Stacey – S3, E1
  • Gavin & Stacey – S3, E2
  • Gavin & Stacey – S3, E4
  • Gavin & Stacey – S3, E5
  • Gavin & Stacey – S3, E6
  • Gavin & Stacey 2019 Christmas Special


  • Suits – S1, E2
  • Suits – S1, E3
  • Suits – S1, E4
  • Suits – S1, E5
  • Suits – S1, E6
  • Suits – S1, E7
  • Suits – S1, E8
  • Suits – S1, E9
  • Suits – S1, E10
  • Suits – S1, E11
  • Suits – S1, E12
  • Suits – S2, E2
  • Suits – S2, E3
  • Suits – S2, E4
  • Suits – S2, E5
  • Suits – S2, E6
  • Suits – S2, E8
  • Suits – S2, E9
  • Suits – S2, E10
  • Suits – S2, E11
  • Suits – S2, E12
  • Suits – S2, E13
  • Suits – S2, E14
  • Suits – S2, E15
  • Suits – S2, E16
  • Suits – S3, E1
  • Suits – S3, E2
  • Suits – S3, E3
  • Suits – S3, E4
  • Suits – S3, E5
  • Suits – S3, E6
  • Suits – S3, E7
  • Suits – S3, E8
  • Suits – S3, E9
  • Suits – S3, E10
  • Suits – S3, E11
  • Suits – S3, E12
  • Suits – S3, E13
  • Suits – S3, E14
  • Suits – S4, E1
  • Suits – S4, E2
  • Suits – S4, E3
  • Suits – S4, E4
  • Suits – S4, E5
  • Suits – S4, E6
  • Suits – S4, E7
  • Suits – S4, E8
  • Suits – S4, E9
  • Suits – S4, E10
  • Suits – S4, E11
  • Suits – S4, E12
  • Suits – S4, E14
  • Suits – S4, E15
  • Suits – S4, E16
  • Suits – S5, E2
  • Suits – S5, E3
  • Suits – S5, E4
  • Suits – S5, E5
  • Suits – S5, E6
  • Suits – S5, E7
  • Suits – S5, E8
  • Suits – S5, E9
  • Suits – S5, E10
  • Suits – S5, E11
  • Suits – S5, E12
  • Suits – S5, E13
  • Suits – S5, E14
  • Suits – S5, E15
  • Suits – S5, E16
  • Suits – S6, E1
  • Suits – S6, E2
  • Suits – S6, E3
  • Suits – S6, E4
  • Suits – S6, E5
  • Suits – S6, E6
  • Suits – S6, E7
  • Suits – S6, E8
  • Suits – S6, E9
  • Suits – S6, E10
  • Suits – S6, E11
  • Suits – S6, E12
  • Suits – S6, E13
  • Suits – S6, E14
  • Suits – S6, E15
  • Suits – S6, E16
  • Suits – S7, E1
  • Suits – S7, E2
  • Suits – S7, E3
  • Suits – S7, E4
  • Suits – S7, E5
  • Suits – S7, E6
  • Suits – S7, E7
  • Suits – S7, E8
  • Suits – S7, E9
  • Suits – S7, E10
  • Suits – S7, E11
  • Suits – S7, E12
  • Suits – S7, E13
  • Suits – S7, E14
  • Suits – S7, E15
  • Suits – S7, E16
  • Suits – S8, E1
  • Suits – S8, E2
  • Suits – S8, E3
  • Suits – S8, E4
  • Suits – S8, E5
  • Suits – S8, E6
  • Suits – S8, E7
  • Suits – S8, E8
  • Suits – S8, E9
  • Suits – S8, E10
  • Suits – S8, E11
  • Suits – S8, E13
  • Suits – S8, E14
  • Suits – S8, E15
  • Suits – S8, E16
  • Suits – S9, E1
  • Suits – S9, E2
  • Suits – S9, E3
  • Suits – S9, E4
  • Suits – S9, E5
  • Suits – S9, E6
  • Suits – S9, E7
  • Suits – S9, E9
  • Suits – S9, E10

The Umbrella Academy, Netflix

  • The Umbrella Academy – S1, E1
  • The Umbrella Academy – S1, E2

New Girl

  • New Girl – S1, E1
  • New Girl – S1, E2
  • New Girl – S1, E3
  • New Girl – S1, E4
  • New Girl – S1, E5
  • New Girl – S1, E7
  • New Girl – S1, E12
  • New Girl – S1, E14
  • New Girl – S1, E15
  • New Girl – S1, E17
  • New Girl – S1, E23
  • New Girl – S2, E1
  • New Girl – S2, E3
  • New Girl – S2, E7
  • New Girl – S2, E8
  • New Girl – S2, E9
  • New Girl – S2, E10
  • New Girl – S2, E11
  • New Girl – S2, E13
  • New Girl – S2, E14
  • New Girl – S2, E15
  • New Girl – S2, E16
  • New Girl – S2, E17
  • New Girl – S2, E19
  • New Girl – S2, E21
  • New Girl – S2, E22
  • New Girl – S2, E24
  • New Girl – S2, E25
  • New Girl – S3, E1
  • New Girl – S3, E2
  • New Girl – S3, E16

Only Fools & Horses

  • Only Fools & Horses – S3, E1

Series of Unfortunate Events, Netflix

  • Series of Unfortunate Events – S3, E1

Locke & Key, Netflix

  • Locke & Key – S1, E1
  • Locke & Key – S1, E2
  • Locke & Key – S1, E3
  • Locke & Key – S1, E4
  • Locke & Key – S1, E5
  • Locke & Key – S1, E7
  • Locke & Key – S1, E9
  • Locke & Key – S1, E10

The Big Bang Theory

  • The Big Bang Theory – S1, E1
  • The Big Bang Theory – S1, E2
  • The Big Bang Theory – S1, E3 (mention)
  • The Big Bang Theory – S1, E4
  • The Big Bang Theory – S1, E5
  • The Big Bang Theory – S1, E6
  • The Big Bang Theory – S1, E7
  • The Big Bang Theory – S1, E8
  • The Big Bang Theory – S1, E9
  • The Big Bang Theory – S1, E10 (mention)
  • The Big Bang Theory – S1, E12 (mention)
  • The Big Bang Theory – S1, E13
  • The Big Bang Theory – S1, E14 (mention)
  • The Big Bang Theory – S1, E15
  • The Big Bang Theory – S1, E16
  • The Big Bang Theory – S1, E17 (mention)
  • The Big Bang Theory – S2, E1
  • The Big Bang Theory – S2, E2
  • The Big Bang Theory – S2, E3
  • The Big Bang Theory – S2, E4
  • The Big Bang Theory – S2, E5
  • The Big Bang Theory – S2, E6 (mention)
  • The Big Bang Theory – S2, E7
  • The Big Bang Theory – S2, E8
  • The Big Bang Theory – S2, E10
  • The Big Bang Theory – S2, E11
  • The Big Bang Theory – S2, E12
  • The Big Bang Theory – S2, E13
  • The Big Bang Theory – S2, E14 (mention)
  • The Big Bang Theory – S2, E15
  • The Big Bang Theory – S2, E16
  • The Big Bang Theory – S2, E17
  • The Big Bang Theory – S2, E18
  • The Big Bang Theory – S2, E19
  • The Big Bang Theory – S2, E20
  • The Big Bang Theory – S2, E21
  • The Big Bang Theory – S2, E22
  • The Big Bang Theory – S3, E3
  • The Big Bang Theory – S3, E4
  • The Big Bang Theory – S3, E5
  • The Big Bang Theory – S3, E6
  • The Big Bang Theory – S3, E7 (mention)
  • The Big Bang Theory – S3, E8
  • The Big Bang Theory – S3, E9
  • The Big Bang Theory – S3, E10
  • The Big Bang Theory – S3, E11
  • The Big Bang Theory – S3, E12
  • The Big Bang Theory – S3, E13
  • The Big Bang Theory – S3, E14
  • The Big Bang Theory – S3, E16
  • The Big Bang Theory – S3, E17
  • The Big Bang Theory – S3, E18
  • The Big Bang Theory – S3, E19
  • The Big Bang Theory – S3, E20 (mention)
  • The Big Bang Theory – S3, E21
  • The Big Bang Theory – S3, E22
  • The Big Bang Theory – S3, E23 (mention)
  • The Big Bang Theory – S4, E2
  • The Big Bang Theory – S4, E3
  • The Big Bang Theory – S4, E4
  • The Big Bang Theory – S4, E5
  • The Big Bang Theory – S4, E8
  • The Big Bang Theory – S4, E9
  • The Big Bang Theory – S4, E10
  • The Big Bang Theory – S4, E11
  • The Big Bang Theory – S4, E12
  • The Big Bang Theory – S4, E14
  • The Big Bang Theory – S4, E15
  • The Big Bang Theory – S4, E16
  • The Big Bang Theory – S4, E17
  • The Big Bang Theory – S4, E20 (mention)
  • The Big Bang Theory – S4, E22
  • The Big Bang Theory – S4, E23 (mention)
  • The Big Bang Theory – S4, E24
  • The Big Bang Theory – S5, E2
  • The Big Bang Theory – S5, E4
  • The Big Bang Theory – S5, E5
  • The Big Bang Theory – S5, E6
  • The Big Bang Theory – S5, E7
  • The Big Bang Theory – S5, E9
  • The Big Bang Theory – S5, E11
  • The Big Bang Theory – S5, E13
  • The Big Bang Theory – S5, E14
  • The Big Bang Theory – S5, E15
  • The Big Bang Theory – S5, E17
  • The Big Bang Theory – S5, E19 (mention)
  • The Big Bang Theory – S5, E20
  • The Big Bang Theory – S5, E21 (mention)
  • The Big Bang Theory – S5, E22
  • The Big Bang Theory – S5, E23
  • The Big Bang Theory – S5, E24
  • The Big Bang Theory – S6, E1
  • The Big Bang Theory – S6, E2
  • The Big Bang Theory – S6, E5
  • The Big Bang Theory – S6, E6
  • The Big Bang Theory – S6, E8
  • The Big Bang Theory – S6, E9
  • The Big Bang Theory – S6, E11
  • The Big Bang Theory – S6, E12
  • The Big Bang Theory – S6, E13
  • The Big Bang Theory – S6, E14
  • The Big Bang Theory – S6, E15
  • The Big Bang Theory – S6, E16
  • The Big Bang Theory – S6, E17
  • The Big Bang Theory – S6, E18 (mention)
  • The Big Bang Theory – S6, E19
  • The Big Bang Theory – S6, E20
  • The Big Bang Theory – S6, E21
  • The Big Bang Theory – S6, E23
  • The Big Bang Theory – S6, E24 (mention)
  • The Big Bang Theory – S7, E1
  • The Big Bang Theory – S7, E2
  • The Big Bang Theory – S7, E3
  • The Big Bang Theory – S7, E4
  • The Big Bang Theory – S7, E5
  • The Big Bang Theory – S7, E6 (mention)
  • The Big Bang Theory – S7, E7
  • The Big Bang Theory – S7, E9
  • The Big Bang Theory – S7, E10
  • The Big Bang Theory – S7, E11
  • The Big Bang Theory – S7, E12
  • The Big Bang Theory – S7, E13
  • The Big Bang Theory – S7, E14
  • The Big Bang Theory – S7, E15
  • The Big Bang Theory – S7, E16 (mention)
  • The Big Bang Theory – S7, E17 (mention)
  • The Big Bang Theory – S7, E19
  • The Big Bang Theory – S7, E20
  • The Big Bang Theory – S7, E21
  • The Big Bang Theory – S7, E22
  • The Big Bang Theory – S7, E23
  • The Big Bang Theory – S7, E24
  • The Big Bang Theory – S8, E1
  • The Big Bang Theory – S8, E3
  • The Big Bang Theory – S8, E4
  • The Big Bang Theory – S8, E5
  • The Big Bang Theory – S8, E6
  • The Big Bang Theory – S8, E7
  • The Big Bang Theory – S8, E8
  • The Big Bang Theory – S8, E9
  • The Big Bang Theory – S8, E10
  • The Big Bang Theory – S8, E11 (mention)
  • The Big Bang Theory – S8, E12
  • The Big Bang Theory – S8, E13 (mention)
  • The Big Bang Theory – S8, E14
  • The Big Bang Theory – S8, E15
  • The Big Bang Theory – S8, E16
  • The Big Bang Theory – S8, E17
  • The Big Bang Theory – S8, E18
  • The Big Bang Theory – S8, E19
  • The Big Bang Theory – S8, E20
  • The Big Bang Theory – S8, E21
  • The Big Bang Theory – S8, E22
  • The Big Bang Theory – S8, E23
  • The Big Bang Theory – S8, E24
  • The Big Bang Theory – S9, E1
  • The Big Bang Theory – S9, E2
  • The Big Bang Theory – S9, E3
  • The Big Bang Theory – S9, E4
  • The Big Bang Theory – S9, E5
  • The Big Bang Theory – S9, E6
  • The Big Bang Theory – S9, E7
  • The Big Bang Theory – S9, E8
  • The Big Bang Theory – S9, E9
  • The Big Bang Theory – S9, E10
  • The Big Bang Theory – S9, E11
  • The Big Bang Theory – S9, E12
  • The Big Bang Theory – S9, E13 (mention)
  • The Big Bang Theory – S9, E14
  • The Big Bang Theory – S9, E15
  • The Big Bang Theory – S9, E16
  • The Big Bang Theory – S9, E17
  • The Big Bang Theory – S9, E19
  • The Big Bang Theory – S9, E20
  • The Big Bang Theory – S9, E21
  • The Big Bang Theory – S9, E22
  • The Big Bang Theory – S9, E23
  • The Big Bang Theory – S9, E24
  • The Big Bang Theory – S10, E1
  • The Big Bang Theory – S10, E2 (mention)
  • The Big Bang Theory – S10, E3
  • The Big Bang Theory – S10, E4
  • The Big Bang Theory – S10, E6
  • The Big Bang Theory – S10, E7
  • The Big Bang Theory – S10, E8
  • The Big Bang Theory – S10, E9
  • The Big Bang Theory – S10, E10
  • The Big Bang Theory – S10, E11
  • The Big Bang Theory – S10, E12 (mention)
  • The Big Bang Theory – S10, E13
  • The Big Bang Theory – S10, E14
  • The Big Bang Theory – S10, E15
  • The Big Bang Theory – S10, E16
  • The Big Bang Theory – S10, E17
  • The Big Bang Theory – S10, E18
  • The Big Bang Theory – S10, E19
  • The Big Bang Theory – S10, E20
  • The Big Bang Theory – S10, E21
  • The Big Bang Theory – S10, E22
  • The Big Bang Theory – S10, E23
  • The Big Bang Theory – S10, E24
  • The Big Bang Theory – S11, E1
  • The Big Bang Theory – S11, E3 (mention)
  • The Big Bang Theory – S11, E4 (mention)
  • The Big Bang Theory – S11, E5
  • The Big Bang Theory – S11, E6
  • The Big Bang Theory – S11, E7
  • The Big Bang Theory – S11, E8
  • The Big Bang Theory – S11, E10
  • The Big Bang Theory – S11, E12
  • The Big Bang Theory – S11, E13
  • The Big Bang Theory – S11, E14 (mention)
  • The Big Bang Theory – S11, E15
  • The Big Bang Theory – S11, E16
  • The Big Bang Theory – S11, E17
  • The Big Bang Theory – S11, E18
  • The Big Bang Theory – S11, E19
  • The Big Bang Theory – S11, E20
  • The Big Bang Theory – S11, E21
  • The Big Bang Theory – S11, E22
  • The Big Bang Theory – S11, E23
  • The Big Bang Theory – S11, E24
  • The Big Bang Theory – S12, E1
  • The Big Bang Theory – S12, E2
  • The Big Bang Theory – S12, E3
  • The Big Bang Theory – S12, E4
  • The Big Bang Theory – S12, E5
  • The Big Bang Theory – S12, E6 (mention)
  • The Big Bang Theory – S12, E7
  • The Big Bang Theory – S12, E8
  • The Big Bang Theory – S12, E9
  • The Big Bang Theory – S12, E10
  • The Big Bang Theory – S12, E11
  • The Big Bang Theory – S12, E12
  • The Big Bang Theory – S12, E13
  • The Big Bang Theory – S12, E17
  • The Big Bang Theory – S12, E18 (mention)
  • The Big Bang Theory – S12, E19
  • The Big Bang Theory – S12, E20
  • The Big Bang Theory – S12, E21 (mention)
  • The Big Bang Theory – S12, E22
  • The Big Bang Theory – S12, E23

Staged, Netflix

  • Staged – S1, E1 (mention)
  • Staged – S1, E2
  • Staged – S1, E3
  • Staged – S1, E4
  • Staged – S1, E5
  • Staged – S1, E6


  • Arrow – S1, E1


  • Friends – S1, E1 (spitting out water)
  • Friends – S1, E7 (spitting out of chewing gum)
  • Friends – S2, E8 (spitting out food)
  • Friends – S2, E13 (over-dramatic dying noises)
  • Friends – S3, E3 (spitting out of jam)
  • Friends – S3, E8 (hyperventilating into paper bag)
  • Friends – S4 Title Sequence (intense coughing)
  • Friends – S4, E23 (intense coughing)

Good Girls, Netflix

  • Good Girls – S1, E1
  • Good Girls – S1, E2 (spitting out of a chip)
  • Good Girls – S3, E1 (g*gging)
  • Good Girls – S3, E6 (spitting after brushing teeth)

Brooklyn Nine Nine

  • Brooklyn Nine Nine – S1, E1 (spitting out food)
  • Brooklyn Nine Nine – S1, E3 (spitting out food)
  • Brooklyn Nine Nine – S1, E4 (borderline g*gging)
  • Brooklyn Nine Nine – S1, E6 (mention: v* on costume)
  • Brooklyn Nine Nine – S1, E7 (borderline g*gging)
  • Brooklyn Nine Nine – S1, E8 (g*gging at smelly shoe)
  • Brooklyn Nine Nine – S1, E9 (spits pizza into bucket)
  • Brooklyn Nine Nine – S1, E10 (borderline g*gging)
  • Brooklyn Nine Nine – S1, E12 (minor g*gging)
  • Brooklyn Nine Nine – S1, E18 (choking on hair)
  • Brooklyn Nine Nine – S1, E20 (spitting out of an almond)
  • Brooklyn Nine Nine – S1, E21 (mention of st*mach f*u)
  • Brooklyn Nine Nine – S2, E3 (mention of food p*isoning, looking s*ck & b*cket)
  • Brooklyn Nine Nine – S2, E8 (minor choking on mouth spray)
  • Brooklyn Nine Nine – S2, E9 (spitting)
  • Brooklyn Nine Nine – S3, E3 (spitting out food)
  • Brooklyn Nine Nine – S3, E6 (spitting out of a drink)
  • Brooklyn Nine Nine – S3, E12 (spitting out food)
  • Brooklyn Nine Nine – S4, E3 (g*gging)
  • Brooklyn Nine Nine – S4, E14 (spitting)
  • Brooklyn Nine Nine – S4, E15 (spitting out cement)
  • Brooklyn Nine Nine – S4, E17 (g*gging & lots of mention)
  • Brooklyn Nine Nine – S4, E20 (spitting out fuel)
  • Brooklyn Nine Nine – S5, E2 (spitting out of a cookie)
  • Brooklyn Nine Nine – S5, E18 (coughing)
  • Brooklyn Nine Nine – S5, E20 (lots of t*ilet flushing)
  • Brooklyn Nine Nine – S6, E2 (reactions to gross smells)
  • Brooklyn Nine Nine – S6, E6 (hyperventilating into a bag)
  • Brooklyn Nine Nine – S6, E7 (choking & mention)

The Good Place

  • The Good Place – S1, E2 (lots of mention)
  • The Good Place – S2, E1 (arm in mouth/spitting)
  • The Good Place – S2, E3 (joke g*gging)
  • The Good Place – S2, E5 (spitting out of a toad)
  • The Good Place – S2, E6 (projectile spitting of coins)

Red Dwarf

  • Red Dwarf – S1, E1 (spitting out soup)
  • Red Dwarf – S2, E2 (mentions st*mach p*mp)
  • Red Dwarf – S2, E4 (mentions st*mach p*mp)
  • Red Dwarf – S2, E6 (spitting out beer)
  • Red Dwarf – S3, E1 (eats food backwards)

IT Crowd

  • IT Crowd – S1, E3 (sauce mistaken for something)
  • IT Crowd – S1, E5 (carries around b*cket of chicken)

Only Fools & Horses

  • Only Fools & Horses – S3, E1 (coughing/spluttering)

Gavin & Stacey

  • Gavin & Stacey – S1, E5 (mention/drunken behaviour)
  • Gavin & Stacey – S2, E3 (fingers down throat motion)


  • Suits – S1, E1 (drugs tipped in toilet, poss. triggering)
  • Suits – S2, E1 (inference of instance leaving toilet)
  • Suits – S2, E7 (mention in bathroom, poss. triggering)
  • Suits – S4, E13 (choking but no instance)
  • Suits – S9, E8 (spitting)

New Girl

  • New Girl – S1, E6 (character looks n*useous)
  • New Girl – S1, E8 (character looks s*ck but isn’t)
  • New Girl – S1, E9 (disgusted coughing)
  • New Girl – S1, E10 (mild sounds in background)
  • New Girl – S1, E11 (g*gging at the end of episode)
  • New Girl – S1, E13 (choking on a cherry)
  • New Girl – S1, E18 (lots of looking s*ck)
  • New Girl – S1, E19 (intense coughing)
  • New Girl – S1, E20 (spitting)
  • New Girl – S1, E22 (spitting out of water)
  • New Girl – S2, E4 (intense coughing)
  • New Girl – S2, E18 (spitting out of a drink)
  • New Girl – S2, E23 (minor g*gging)
  • New Girl – S3, E3 (g*gging & spitting out of food)
  • New Girl – S3, E5 (choking)

Bodyguard, BBC

  • Bodyguard – S1, E2 (lots of blood)
  • Bodyguard – S1, E3 (blood from mouth)
  • Bodyguard – S1, E4 (lots of blood)

Locke & Key, Netflix

  • Locke & Key – S1, E6 (lots of coughing & choking on water)

The Big Bang Theory

  • The Big Bang Theory – S1, E11 (excessive coughing & mention of gross flu symptoms)
  • The Big Bang Theory – S2, E23 (coughing/choking)
  • The Big Bang Theory – S3, E1 (choking)
  • The Big Bang Theory – S4, E1 (spitting out of water)
  • The Big Bang Theory – S4, E6 (spitting out of a snow cone)
  • The Big Bang Theory – S4, E7 (spitting out of a drink several times)
  • The Big Bang Theory – S4, E18 (hyperventilating into a bag)
  • The Big Bang Theory – S4, E19 (spitting out of toothpaste onto a mirror)
  • The Big Bang Theory – S5, E1 (spitting out of spaghetti)
  • The Big Bang Theory – S5, E2 (spitting out of a toy train)
  • The Big Bang Theory – S5, E10 (spitting into a spittoon)
  • The Big Bang Theory – S5, E12 (g*gging about a dead bird)
  • The Big Bang Theory – S5, E18 (lots of mention)
  • The Big Bang Theory – S6, E3 (coughing/choking)
  • The Big Bang Theory – S6, E4 (phlegm is coughed up & spitting into a tissue)
  • The Big Bang Theory – S6, E10 (lots of g*gging when g*tting a fish)
  • The Big Bang Theory – S7, E8 (burping & mention)
  • The Big Bang Theory – S7, E18 (coughing)
  • The Big Bang Theory – S8, E2 (choking & coughing up of a spit ball)
  • The Big Bang Theory – S9, E18 (fingers put down throat jokingly)
  • The Big Bang Theory – S11, E9 (spitting out of sweets & mention)
  • The Big Bang Theory – S12, E14 (spitting)
  • The Big Bang Theory – S12, E15 (lots of mention)

You, Netflix

  • All Series – Instances in Most Episodes!


  • All Series – Instances in Most Episodes!

Breaking Bad

  • All Series – Instances in Most Episodes!


  • All Series – Instances in Most Episodes!


  • Suits – S5, E1

New Girl

  • New Girl – S1, E16
  • New Girl – S1, E21
  • New Girl – S2, E2
  • New Girl – S2, E5
  • New Girl – S2, E6
  • New Girl – S2, E12
  • New Girl – S2, E20

Gavin & Stacey

  • Gavin & Stacey – S3, E3

Grace & Frankie, Netflix

  • Grace & Frankie – S1, E1

Locke & Key, Netflix

  • Locke & Key – S1, E8

The Big Bang Theory

  • The Big Bang Theory – S2, E9
  • The Big Bang Theory – S3, E2
  • The Big Bang Theory – S3, E15
  • The Big Bang Theory – S4, E13
  • The Big Bang Theory – S4, E21
  • The Big Bang Theory – S5, E8
  • The Big Bang Theory – S6, E7
  • The Big Bang Theory – S10, E5
  • The Big Bang Theory – S11, E2
  • The Big Bang Theory – S11, E11
  • The Big Bang Theory – S12, E16
  • The Big Bang Theory – S12, E24


  • Arrow – S1, E2

Brooklyn Nine Nine

  • Brooklyn Nine Nine – S3, E5
  • Brooklyn Nine Nine – S4, E10
  • Brooklyn Nine Nine – S6, E5


  • Black Beauty
  • Notting Hill
  • Shrek
  • Peter Rabbit, 2018
  • The Holiday
  • This Means War
  • Me Before You
  • Sex Tape
  • Now You See Me
  • Before We Go
  • The Santa Clause
  • The Christmas Chronicles, Netflix
  • Love Actually
  • Sing, Illumination
  • Hocus Pocus
  • Nativity
  • Nativity 2
  • The Grinch
  • Matilda
  • Muppets – Christmas Carol
  • Dumplin’, Netflix
  • The Unicorn Store, Netflix
  • The Terminal
  • Legally Blonde
  • Hear No Evil, See No Evil
  • You’ve Got Mail
  • Princess Diaries 2
  • Insurgent
  • The Prestige
  • 27 Dresses
  • The Mask (intense coughing)
  • What Happens in Vegas (g*gging)
  • Avengers – Infinity War (blood from mouth)
  • Jumanji – Welcome to the Jungle (scorpion from mouth)
  • Solo – A Star Wars Story (spitting after fight)
  • Mulan (spitting once)
  • Monsters vs. Aliens (spitting out of a person)
  • Now You See Me 2 (reaction to stunt involving severed arm)
  • Bad Moms (spitting out drinks)
  • When Harry Met Sally (spitting out grape seeds)
  • Friends With Benefits (joke g*gging/spitting out of a drink)
  • How to be Single (spitting out drinks)
  • Deck the Halls (camel spits)
  • The Greatest Showman (spitting out drinks/intense coughing)
  • Isn’t It Romantic, Netflix (choking)
  • Hitch (choking on an olive)
  • Suicide Squad (spitting of fire)
  • Murder Mystery, Netflix (foam on mouth)
  • Bad Boys (g*gging at sight of dead body)
  • Sherlock Holmes, 2009 (spitting & choking)
  • Enchanted (spitting out of live fish into water bowl)
  • Beauty & The Beast, Animated (spitting)
  • Beauty & The Beast, Live Action (spitting of water)
  • Toy Story 4 (cat coughs up toy & spitting an apple into bin)
  • Moana (chicken regurgitates a rock)
  • Hercules, Animated (regurgitation of substances by titan characters)
  • Monsters Inc. (spitting out false teeth, toilet flushing, burps microphone)
  • Pirates of the Caribbean, Curse of the Black Pearl (choking/coughing up water & spitting)
  • Captain Marvel (tentacles projected from a cat’s mouth)
  • Inception (leaning over sinks, coughing up blood & coughing into a hat)
  • Frozen II (spitting out water, mention & hand over mouth)
  • Divergent (coughing)
  • Allegiant (coughing)
  • Focus (spitting out of a mouth-guard)
  • Ride Along (spitting)
  • Baywatch, 2017
  • Pacific Rim
  • The Interview
  • Deadpool
  • Deadpool 2
  • Dark Shadows
  • Spy, Netflix
  • Bad Neighbours 2
  • The Other Woman
  • 21 Jump Street
  • White Chicks
  • Knocked Up
  • Along Came Polly
  • Bridget Jones’s Baby
  • Big Daddy
  • We’re The Millers (baby at the beginning)
  • Popstar
  • Identity Thief
  • Men In Black (alien baby)
  • Oceans 8
  • When We First Met
  • Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2
  • The Spy Who Dumped Me
  • Blades of Glory
  • Venom
  • Incredibles 2
  • Elf (one minor instance, no visual but leans over bin & sounds)
  • Kindergarten Cop
  • American Pie
  • The Internship
Adventure, Uncategorized

About Dog Walking

Here is my handsome dog Cai on his morning walk today 🙂 You can find his Instagram account here: @cai_the_collie_xx

Dog walking isn’t only essential for your dog’s welfare, but in my opinion, it’s essential for my welfare too.

As the entire world seems to be on lock-down, human interaction is being kept to a minimum. I’m dreadfully missing loved ones I normally see on a daily basis, which makes dealing with anxiety surrounding the enormity of this COVID-19 pandemic evermore difficult.

However, there’s a ray of sunlight amidst this global crisis – and I’m not just referring to the glorious weather we’re fortunate to be experiencing in the UK right now – and that is my gorgeous dog.

Cai has been part of my family for five years now, since he was the cutest puppy on the planet (I’m biased I know; but just look at him!).

He has been by my side through the some of the toughest times of my life; he has also been there for me to make the best times even greater.

Although he was initially destined to become a working sheepdog – to help us manage sheep at the farm we keep our horses at – that wasn’t meant to be. So, my sheep-phobic Welsh Collie cross Border Collie not only became my best friend, but actually gave me reason to keep getting out of bed no-matter how horrific life seemed; because he was not going to let me avoid walking him! I love my Cai infinitely, he truly is wonderful.

My three fur babies, in one photo <3

Don’t get me wrong, there are trying times too – for instance, he recently pooped on two Nurses and a Vet who tried to clip his claws (oops!). He has the most piercing bark, which he uses continuously if there are dogs on the TV (real or animated, he doesn’t discriminate). And he has the same relationship with food as any overweight human; despite my best efforts to manage a balanced diet for him, turns out one dental chew a day was enough to push his weight over the edge. Cai ended up having to go onto a strict diet and exercise regime for his own good. We’re still working on that weight loss, though 26kg down from 31kg is a fantastic feat!

Walking Cai helps me keep my weight in check too!

Dog walking provides unlimited possibilities for adventure. Cai loves walking in the field across the road from our house every day; he enjoys a stroll around the local park; now he’s decided horses aren’t scary, he takes great delight in walking around the countryside surrounding the farm; he’s fond of forestry walks; and he adores the beach.

However, one aspect of walking Cai does not like is going out in the rain. He has a wardrobe’s worth of coats, to keep him motivated to walk in rainy or cold weather.

How handsome is he?!

Whilst out walking your dog, I feel it’s important to reiterate that not all dogs are confident or friendly when approached by other dogs. Cai can become very nervous when unfamiliar dogs approach him; though if he’s chasing a ball, his focus is solely on the game of fetch – in his five years so far, he’s had three instances of loose dogs run full-force into him; each time they both rolled onto the grass, then Cai jumped up as if nothing had happened and continued to chase after his ball, leaving the other dog a little bemused. When walking with his best doggy friends Kally and Milo, Cai does get protective whilst on the lead. So far he’s only ever growled at other dogs who approach them – he’s fine off his lead – but being a collie, I am aware their behaviour can be unpredictable, so I don’t take any risks. If he’s on his own and another dog approaches him whilst he’s on his lead, he will cower and hide under my legs. Therefore, I walk him in a bright yellow lead with the word ‘NERVOUS’ in bold letters across it. That seems to have helped considerably, since fellow dog-walkers realise he’s a nervous dog and tend to put their own dog back on a lead until they’ve passed us 🙂

It goes without saying really that with dog walking there’s a lot to be mindful of. Not only being mindful of other dog owners – I’ll put Cai back on his lead immediately if another dog appears in the vicinity – but also ensuring you maintain responsibility of cleaning up after your dog. I carry doggy poop bags everywhere, and I mean everywhere. I’ve been out to posh restaurants for meals before, and accidentally dropped doggy poop bags as I’ve fumbled for something in my bag. I find them in all my coat pockets, and even once discovered some in the hood of one of my coats. There really is no excuse not to pick up after your dog – thankfully, most people do.

If you’ve been inspired to consider adding a furry friend to your family, always seek expert advice from a Vet or qualified Canine Behaviourist before embarking on the wonderfully rewarding, yet at-times challenging, adventure of caring for your own dog – responsibility akin to having a child.

It’s advisable to re-home a rescue dog if you can. Had Cai not been intended for a working life, I would searched dog re-homing centres for the new member of my family. I’ve worked in a Veterinary Hospital and have seen first-hand the dangers of puppy farming, as well as the disgusting trend of purchasing a dog breed for fashionable purposes, or to make money from indiscriminately breeding the current ‘in’ breed – owners not realising the consequences of their actions (namely brachycephalic dog breeds with shortened noses, who tend to have a plethora of health issues derived from breeding defects, such as breathing issues). If you feel a specific breed of dog would best suit your family, then please do get in touch with reputable, certified breeders – make sure you see the mother, if not also the father, of whatever puppy you’re hoping to buy.

Just to get you started, here’s a quick checklist before searching for your forever dog:

  • Ensure your garden is completely secure, and large enough to incorporate space for your dog to run around/relax in the sunshine, as well as ‘do their business’ outside (also worth deciding on the best system for disposing of dog waste every day – dogs do produce a lot of it, especially as puppies!).
  • Check your house is ‘dog-proof’, meaning there’s no food or potential toxic substances within reach of your dog (some dogs do learn to open cupboards, so be careful!)
  • Be sure you’re able to set aside at least 1 hour a day to exercise your dog (depending on their breed, certain breeds require far more exercise than others), as well as all the time required to train and bond with your dog (there are plenty of qualified, insured dog-walkers out there to help exercise your dog if you’re stuck in work during daylight hours, especially during winter months).
  • Have somewhere safe to keep everything your dog needs, such as their food/water bowls and bed; along with places to store their food, toys, bedding etc.
  • Ensure they’ll have somewhere to access a constant supply of fresh, clean water and decide where and how you’d like their feeding regime set out (for example, some dogs enjoy trickle-feeding throughout the day, whereas others suit set feeding times best – always ask a Vet for advice if you’re unsure).
  • Be aware that your dog will need vaccinations at the same time every year, they’ll need flea treatment every month and – depending on the type of worming treatment – standard wormer every 3 months.
  • Also, make sure your car is ‘dog safe’ – whether that’s purchasing a crash-safe cage for your boot, or investing in a harness and seat-belt attachment (again, you can always seek advice from a pet professional about all of this).
  • Last but not least, get your dog insured! I cannot stress enough the importance of getting your dog insured. Obviously none of us dare even think about the worst happening, though should it, insurance will help you financially so you only have to focus on dealing emotionally with whatever the situation is.

Whether you’re already fortunate enough to enjoy the companionship of an amazing dog, or you’re thinking about adding a dog to your family, or even if you just like to look at cute dog pictures, Cai and I hope you’ve enjoyed a short break from the panic-driven hysteria encompassing us all at the moment 🙂

Best wishes,


Cai and I on our walk this morning 🙂
Author, Uncategorized

About Emetophobia

Millions of people around the world suffer this debilitating phobia, yet shockingly few people seem to know what it is.

If you dont already know what emetophobia is, I wont be explaining it here; so as not to trigger any fellow emetophobes. It should take seconds to search on Google though 🙂

I’ve suffered from it since I was around 7 years old. They say it can usually be traced back to one particularly horrific experience. For me, I’m almost certain it was the Christmas my Dad under-cooked a turkey.

For those who cant understand, whatever I am about to write will probably confirm whatever judgements you may have made about me being out-of-the-ordinary. If you happen to think my anxious habits strange, then I totally get it, I do. Heck, I have always stressed myself out over it, but it is part of me now. And I wont apologise for being me, just as no genuine, good, considerate person should – without our uniqueness the world would be a pretty boring place!

Anyways, instances of the phobic variety cause any emetophobia sufferer to go into panic overdrive. No amount of disinfecting, hand washing, starvation or self-isolation seems enough protection. It’s a guarantee an emetophobe will take weeks if not months to recover from being in the vicinity of an incident, regardless of the fact they almost certainly weren’t to experience it themselves. Should anyone around appear to show any sign remotely related to the instance that sends we phobics into a full-power nervous breakdown, we will not only keep our distance – we’ll also obsessively clean ourselves, often avoid food just in case our already anxious stomach is upset to the point of no return, and even lock ourselves away from the outside world for 24-48 hours, until we’ve satisfied the emet-demon that we’re safe from catching anything sinister.

As you can imagine, this makes virtually every activity an anxiety attack risk. Travelling in the car or public transport there’s a chance fellow travelers become a cause for concern – whether on the side of the road or within our immediate breathing space. Going clubbing, or for nights out, or house parties involving copious amounts of alcohol consumption never end well – the resulting effects are usually a source of hilarity for everyone else; whereas it’s the complete opposite for us. Going on holiday and trying new, exotic foods is terrifying enough to put us off going away in the first place. And don’t get me started on the agonizing strength of anxiousness experienced when attending or working in an environment surrounded by children – the majority of whom don’t seem to have a decent grasp on hand hygiene, and tend to find foul happenings funny. Watching films, especially in the cinema when relatives and friends haven’t been able to ‘vet’ it for you first, is a white-knuckle experience akin to jumping out of an aeroplane if you have a phobia of heights. You become superstitious, afraid to wear the same clothes as the day of any given incident – even if it was experienced by someone else – just in case it’s bad omen.

Emetophobia turns you into your own worst enemy, as you are petrified of your own body. Can you imagine living in this constant state of highly pressurized anxiety 24/7? It’s the reality for emetophobics.

Due to emetophobia, I developed anxiety, OCD and depression. However, after attending my GP, therapy (CBT didn’t work for me unfortunately, though I was thankful it helped me understand the phobia a little better) and going through some rather challenging times, I learned that any traumatic experience has potential to be a trigger for emetophobia. For me, being bullied in school, then sexually and emotionally abused as an adult, had a devastating effect on my mental health due to the added strain of living with this life-limiting phobia. Occasionally to the point I wasn’t sure how I could continue to live in this state of constant torture (I have my horses, dogs, family and friends to thank infinitely for helping me save myself).

Over the years I developed many habits a normal person would certainly consider odd. Whilst in school, I’d change my clothes and shower at least three times a day – wouldn’t allow any of my school clothes, bags, shoes etc. to ‘contaminate’ anything related to the rest of my life (most namely that which I considered precious, so primarily anything to do with my horses). If Mum expected me to leave school and go straight to the stables without showering and changing my clothes, I’d have a meltdown. I went through a phase when starvation seemed the best way to avoid the risk altogether. Since I was being bullied anyway, I figured losing weight whilst preventing any threat to my ‘safe’ existence would be a win win. So, I would eat as little as I possibly could. My lunch would end up fed to the seagulls hanging around the high school playing fields, and I’d do all I could to avoid mealtimes – my parents rarely allowed me to leave the table without at least a few mouthfuls of dinner. Even then I’d only eat bland food. I would spend as long as humanly fathomable at the stables, exercising off as much ‘fat’ as I possibly could, content in the knowledge I was safe from my phobia, as well as from bullies. I was never an overweight child, but I was 6 and a half stone until my late teens.

Once I’d left school I learned to manage my phobia far better. Without skipping by my adult experiences, during the couple of years of fighting continuous phobic tendencies, I ramped up my usual OCD handwashing and personal hygiene processes. I started using excessive amounts of hand sanitizer, to the point I developed severe eczema on my hands. I stopped having to change clothes every five minutes, but I ended up trying out many different stomach settling medications and meditation to try calm myself down. I had a few exceedingly wobbly days and took to the drastic measure of staying awake all night when I believed myself most vulnerable to all manner of horrors – worst of all that phobic instance. Quite sad really, that because I was so focused on dealing with the hellish mental state emetophobia forced me into, I didn’t realise the extent to which I should’ve realised how terrible other realms of my life had become. I daren’t risk getting pregnant, for the crippling fear I experienced just thinking about what might happen to me relating to this dreadful phobia. Perhaps that was why my situation was fraught with frustration; I couldn’t bring myself to provide what everyone so desperately wanted.

Thankfully, that phase of my life ended. Divorced from the shackles of fear controlling my every manouvere, freedom seemed all the more wondrous. It took quite a long time to recover, and I’m sure that perhaps deep down I will always be recovering, but I want to assure you there’s light at the end of the tunnel if you suffer emetophobia.

You don’t have to be terrified of your body every second of every day, despite the fact that’s what we end up being.

I get my bad days like everyone does with this awful phobia-demon, though my protective habits mainly consist of:

* Being vegetarian (I admit my phobia isn’t the only reason I chose to be veggie).

* Keeping my hands clean as possible at all times.

* Always avoid touching my face unless I’ve just washed my hands.

* Carrying extra strong mints with me if my stomach does feel a little off (which tends to do the trick by settling such sensations).

* Taking great comfort in learning that the only real cause for a phobic instance is poisoning (even then it could manifest in the opposite direction; through pregnancy or catching something it isn’t a necessity either) – there are people who have genuinely lived their entire lives without remembering an instance.

* Reminding myself that I’ve survived many awful episodes surrounded by phobic triggers, and I’ve been absolutely fine once I’ve looked back – which makes it feel I’ve wasted time worrying and overthinking.

* Working as a vet receptionist and having to repeat trigger words literally hundreds of times a day, means I can say trigger words without experiencing a spike in anxiety levels.

* Having an amazing boyfriend/wonderful family/fab friends who keep an eye out for phobia triggers in films so I know when to avoid them. I’ve improved to the point that I’ll even watch films with phobic instances in, provided I cover my ears and close my eyes until the offending scene is over – something I’d never have done even two years ago (I’d have avoided watching the film at all).

I’ve also been following some Instagram pages that review films and post whether they’re ‘safe’ for emetophobes or not. In fact, I decided to do something to help others in my situation, using the fact I was noting TV programs and films as being ‘safe’ or ‘unsafe’ for fellow emetophobics as a sort of self-therapy.

If I get enough of a response, I may well post what I managed to list if I can find it. I may even start adding to it again if there’s demand…

I do really feel it would be worth having films, TV shows, books, magazines, even plays marked with logos such as the following. It would make life a heck of a lot more bearable for those of us with emetophobia – what do you think?

<- Image Copyright 2020 ©D.E. Kendall

(I’m aware it’d be virtually impossible to roll out, as there are countless phobias that could be triggered by any of the entertainment vessels mentioned above, but it may be a consideration for a particularly ambitious collective to create some sort of listing for anyone with varying degrees of different phobias, to make consuming entertainment more comfortable for everyone.)

Now you’re fully aware of my idiosyncrasies, I hope I’ve helped you feel a hundred times better about yourself – regardless of whatever mental health issue(s) you’re dealing with 🙂

Please know that you are never alone. Don’t be afraid to reach out if you’re struggling. We are all stronger than we believe – the fact we’ve fought our fears up to this very moment prove that; we have no reason not to continue being courageous.

You’ll be fine <3

Best wishes,